Sunday, July 11, 2010

Unhidden Desires

I attended a bondage workshop yesterday afternoon. There was a lot of the typical elements - a review of risks and important safety

measures which can never be over-emphasized, demonstrations and practice of different ties and techniques, discussion of different types

of rope. One element that was very different was at the end of the workshop. The facilitator led us through a meditation exercise to help us explore what we desire from bondage. The goal was to help us visualize in our minds our ideal bondage scene, first as a bottom, then as a top.

The images, sounds, smells and sensations that filled my mind were not surprising as many of the elements I recognize from fantasies I've had since I first realized I was kinky.

I found myself lying in a middle of a large hall. The edges of the large room were out of focus. I could sense others sitting in a ring around the edge, however, I could neither hear them or see them. The light inside the room was bright white. As the scene progressed, details would come in and out of focus, often times changing.

My top kept changing through-out the scene. Sometimes she was someone I have played with before, other times, she was unknown to me. One constant is that she and I were both naked. She was always tall, slender. The bondage was just one element of her seduction. As she wrapped the ropes around me, her hands would touch my skin seductively. I could feel her hair touch my face. Her breasts would press against me as her arms surrounded me as she tied the rope. With every deep breath I inhaled her smell. The warmth of her body arousing all my senses.

Whenever I would fall too deeply into her sexuality, she would remind me who held the power. A quick sharp stroke to stimulate the pain receptors. I would cry out in pain, and then she would sooth me, caressing me gently. Once she had me completely bound, she knew my body was hers to satisfy her needs, her desire. I would be unable to resist whenever she wanted to inflict pain or give me pleasure.

Everything about her touch was sensual. Designed to fuel my lust, yet it was for her satisfaction.

The scene fades away as our facilitator instructs us to now visualize on our ideal bondage as a top.

The room is in sharper focus. It appears to be the same hall, yet a times it fades away. I recognize the guests and setting as a formal party and then at times everything is blurry. I am dressed for the occasion. My submissive the only one completely nude.

She is blindfolded. Her face never comes into focus. I tie her up quickly. She is left exposed and vulnerable. She is responsive to my touch. Unable to resist any of my advances. Different images flash through my mind as to how I use her. Always though, she is filled with happiness by whatever I take from her.

I am lying on a couch in the workshop room. I hear the voice of our facilitator leading us through the exercise. I am aware of myself watching these images in my mind and finding myself aroused by them. Slowly the facilitator brings the exercise to an end. We discussed amongst ourselves what we each saw. I am not surprised by what was shared by two my fellow participants, both of whom I'm known for a long time.